Many Tears

I've always heard how girls are just so emotional. I guess I didn't really take it seriously or think too much about it. I mean, I know I can be emotional sometimes but I wouldn't consider myself to be an emotional person. Maybe I am. My husband would probably say I am but I think he can be an emotionless beast sometimes. So I guess we're even. What I was not prepared for was the range of emotions a 3 year old can feel and go through in one single day. Good god. I'm warning you, if you have a girl or you're planning on having kids and you might have a girl, you since there's a chance of that.... prepare yourself. Prepare yourself for days filled with emotion and tears. So many tears.

This girl of mine can cry at the drop of a hat and it breaks my heart and wears me out. We recently decided to do a little makeover on our house. We moved in when I was 8 months pregnant and we've been a little busy so we just sort of put things we had collected over the years wherever it fit as opposed to actually making the house feel like ours by decorating it in a way that makes us happy and fits our lives. Our new kid friendly living room has a lot more storage. Everything that is on kid level holds toys so that if the kids can reach it, they can play with it. It works out really well especially for J who started crawling at the same time and can now crawl up to the bookshelves or window seat and pull out all his toys and play and explore safely on his own. It still looks a little messy but I like to think it's kid friendly and functional and looks kind of cute.

Anyway, we bought a new tv because it was time. We were using a very old, very large tv that had a flat screen but still had the tube style back on it. I am super cheap and there was nothing wrong with it so we kept putting off upgrading it. M has watched many, many episodes of Dora, Yo Gabba Gabba and Sesame Street on this tv over the last 3 years. We were not prepared for her to have such a hard time saying goodbye.

When we moved it to the garage, she cried. We assured her the new tv would be just as great, maybe even better and that she could still watch all her favorite shows and movies on the new tv. More tears. When someone came to buy the tv, she cried again and had to say goodbye. The people weren't able to fit it in their truck so they left it. Several people have come to buy it over the last few weeks and no one has been able to fit it into their car. Each time we go through the same process of saying goodbye and crying. Even though there is a brand new tv in it's place that she has already started to break in. I haven't watched it once. Not one single time. It's kid shows nonstop until I pass out at night. It's amazing to me that she can feel so strongly about something so small but I guess she is small and that's why. There's just no reasoning with her though, it's all emotions all the time. It's pretty intense.

M has a pet fish that she won at the fair a few months ago. Her name is Gamma. Gamma died. I'm terrified to tell her so we just haven't yet. She hasn't asked and she thinks Gamma is sleeping in her little cave that is at the bottom of her tank. Ryan and I have been going back and forth on what we should do. Should we buy a new fish? Should we just be honest and tell her Gamma passed away. We do have a senior dog, I've had Macy since I was 17 and she's a pug so I'm not sure she will be around much longer and we will definitely have to have the talk at that point, when something does happen to Macy. We keep the fish tank on the counter above our kitchen sink. M asked what would happen if Gamma jumped out and went down the drain. I told her Gamma would travel through the drain until she reached the "ocean waters" (that's what M calls the ocean) and turned into a mermaid like a caterpillar turns into a butterfly. I have no idea what to do. I know whatever we decide, there will be tears. Many many tears.