I Will Cut You

The summer after my parents divorced, I was visiting my dad in Arkansas. I remember my aunt stopping by one afternoon, very upset. Actually that would be an understatement. She was enraged. I was only 8 at the time so my version of the story might be slightly exaggerated but from my perspective, she was almost like a caged animal, pacing back and forth, shouting and crying. I remember her saying she had been grocery shopping with her son, my cousin who was 3 years old at the time. They were in the check out line, I think he was standing next to his mom, looking at the candy, or maybe he was in the cart. My aunt said she heard someone talking to her son so she turned to see who it was and what they were saying. I'm sure like any mom, she was used to hearing how cute her son was (he was pretty damn cute) and assumed it was someone complimenting her on a job well done. Way to produce a good lookin kid! You go momma! Keep it up! There's always room for more adorable kids in this world.

No. What she actually heard was a man calling her son a monkey and telling her she needed to put her monkey back in his cage. See, my cousin's mother is Caucasian and his father is African American. He has the most amazing mocha skin tone, he was a cute kid and he's grown up to be a pretty handsome guy. My cousin wasn't hurting anyone. He wasn't doing anything wrong. He was just standing there in his skin. Skin that might be a little darker than some but also not as dark as others. He was 3 years old and this grown man thought it was ok to shame a child for something he has no control over. He thought it was acceptable to bully a 3 year old because his parents were a mixed race couple. There are so many things wrong with this encounter. For one, it's none of that man's business. Two, bullying a child is never acceptable. NEVER. It's difficult for me to remember some of the details because this was 21 years ago. I'm sure if you asked my aunt, she could tell you every word, every expression and every feeling that occurred in that moment. I was only a child myself and I remember being angry for her and enraged right along with her. I didn't care what color my cousin was. I loved him very much and I still do. His skin tone is part of him but it doesn't define him. I would love him even if he was purple.

That was probably the first time I ever witnessed the power behind a mother's love for her child. At that moment, my aunt probably could have ran over that man with her car. She was furious. She was hurt. She was shocked. She was a much better person than that man. She walked away from the situation. She did the right thing. She always does. I'm telling you, she is an incredible woman and I sometimes think I need a bracelet that says "WWDD?" for what would Dawn do?

I worry about bullies. M has such a sweet disposition and a tender heart. Don't get me wrong, she's a tough girl, she has a good head on her shoulders and a strong will but she is such a sweetheart. Everyone she meets is her best friend. I worry about other children picking on her, not because I don't think she can't handle it but because she's my sweet, tiny little girl and I don't want anyone to ever hurt her.

I try to avoid Wal-Mart. I never seem to have a good experience when I go there anymore. Their prices aren't bad but it's always crowded, everyone who works there seems miserable and unwilling to help customers. I made an exception today because I needed a one stop shop. It's a pain taking the kids out of the car and putting them back in over and over. It's much easier to limit your stops so that they don't get tired of being dragged out of the car and then put back in multiple times. So, I went to Wal-Mart. First stop, the baking aisle. It was crowded, of course, but I managed to grab my cake flour and powdered sugar because we're baking these for movie night tonight. Come over, we'll save you some! As we were leaving the aisle, I waited for other people to pass by so I could safely swing our giant cart with the special kid seats attached down the next aisle without taking anyone out.

I took the opportunity to glance over at some of the new Pillsbury offerings. Then I heard someone talking to M. Not unusual. She, like my cousin Rance, is pretty damn cute. Don't even try to deny it. You know that girl is beautiful and has amazing hair. I know you're jealous. I am too.

I assumed, probably like my aunt did all those years ago, that this elderly man in a wheel chair was just saying hi to my friendly girl. Most likely in response to her waving at him first. Then I hear him say "Take those fingers out of your mouth. What are you? A baby? You're not a baby! Take those fingers out. Take them out of your mouth right now." I was shocked. I was fuming. There was murder in my eyes and all I could think was I am about to go over this cart, jump on that wheel chair and cut this man. I will cut you for making fun of my sweet little 3 year old girl. Then I'll get arrested right in front of my kids and probably traumatize them. They don't know how scrappy their mom can be. I've been trying to keep my hillbilly side in check the last couple of years. The man's adult daughter was with him and she was clearly embarrassed and kept telling him to "come on". He didn't budge. He just sat there blocking the main aisle. I started to whip that cart around and go back the way we came before I did something to get myself arrested. My sweet M laughed and pulled her fingers away from her mouth only to out them back in before we could turn around and get the heck out of there and away from this lunatic. The second those little fingers were back in her mouth, he once again started harassing her. I literally ran down the aisle away from him.

I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he has dementia. Maybe he thought we were someone he knew. Maybe he was joking. Honestly, I don't know that any of those excuses are acceptable. The man was bullying a 3 year old little girl for sucking her fingers. She wasn't being loud, she wasn't running around like a maniac, she was minding her own business, sitting quietly in the shopping cart sucking her fingers because it was getting close to nap time and we had just left the park and she was tired. There was absolutely no excuse and no reason why that man needed to speak to my child. There is never an excuse for bullying a child. I wanted to go back and slowly lean over him and so very quietly whisper, "I will follow you home and cut you for speaking to my child that way". Instead, I got my children out of the situation and when we got home I explained to M that she didn't do anything wrong and that some people are very unhappy and they want to make other people unhappy so that they are not alone. I told her that there will always be bullies and that it's always best to ignore them just like we did earlier. Hopefully I did the right thing. I should have cut him though.