"Holy Shit!"

These were the first words M ever heard me say and I find that slightly amusing that a simple exclamation could so accurately describe how amazing my life became July 16th, 2010.

There is no way to describe how it feels to be a parent other than to say it is the most exhilarating, fulfilling, and terrifying experience I can imagine. The first 6 months have flown by in a whirlwind of explosive poop, loud talking, constant worrying, and general tiredness but it has been and, I'm sure, always will be more than worth it. M, or "Monkey" as she is more commonly known, is easily the most beautiful and precious baby ever born on this planet... yes even more precious than me. This is a fact proven by science so just accept it. Callie and I actually worry about our next baby and how it could possibly be as perfect as M is.

One of my favorite things that M does is make fart sounds with her mouth. I think farts are hilarious and the fact that she derives so much enjoyment from repeatedly making "mouth farts" fills me with more joy than I can possibly describe. Also, having someone else to blame my farts on is nice as Callie doesn't generally buy it when I blame them on the dogs.

M has recently started sleeping in her crib in her own room but until she made that transition she was sleeping in her "pack n play" at the end of our bed. One night I came to bed late after Callie had already fed M and laid her down and both of them were asleep. I slowly and carefully got into bed making as little noise as possible and just as I got  comfortable M rips one of the manliest farts I have ever heard to this day. Not a cute little baby toot but an explosion of lecherous force that could have come out of an overweight man in his late 40's who subsisted solely on refried beans, pork rinds, and Milwaukee's Best. Laughing by myself in bed, trying not to wake either of them up, being the proudest dad on the planet.