Glasses Included

I know most of you know this story already. Some of you were there for it. It's my favorite story. About 14 years ago, I saw my husband for the first time. My friends kept talking about the cute new guy who was in marching band with them. "He looks like Patrick Swayze", they told me. For weeks I kept hearing about this guy. Finally, one day while we were all standing outside during a break between classes, they pointed him out. I am not joking when I say that there was a crowd of people between this "cute new guy" and me and when I turned to look at him, the crowd parted like the parting of the red sea and there stood this guy:

"He is not cute. He wears glasses," I said and turned away. Dirty Dancing has always been one of my favorite movies and I feel very strongly about Patrick Swayze. This guy did not look like Patrick Swayze. I was not impressed and dare I say, maybe even a little disappointed. I was really looking forward to checking out this Swayze look alike.

Fast forward this VHS a few months later and you'll find me in an auditorium with my fellow classmates waiting out a bomb threat. Despite having several friends in common, Ryan and I had never actually met. I was sitting with a group a friends, Ryan was there too. Being the natural comedian that I am, I was telling jokes and entertaining all the boys around me, they were eating out of the palm of my hand like little ponies. They were almost in tears from laughing at my jokes. Ryan on the other hand, sat quietly off to the side, not saying a word. Not even cracking a smile. Oh, this guy. This Swayze imposter. He is no good. Later that day, he passed me in the hall and waved. I rolled my eyes. Clearly the eye roll had the same effect my jokes had on him, which was no effect at all because he continued to wave at me every day after that, every time he passed me in the hall. He claims he doesn't remember this at all. I can assure you that it is all true and I did not like this Ryan fella.

The following year, the first day of school, Ms. Benson's 11th grade history class. My BFF and I are sitting next to each other waiting for class to start when in walks the Swayze imposter. Annye waves him over and asks him to sit with us. He takes the seat in front of me and turns around to tell us a sob story about how his girlfriend broke up with him and how he's "lonely and white". Give me a break, I have had a total of 2 tans my entire life and my boyfriend had also broken up with me and proceeded to marry the girl he broke up with me for. This was pretty heavy stuff for a 16 year old. I was clearly going through a crisis in my life.. Not to mention I was on my way to becoming emancipated, living with my ex-step father and dealing with an insane mother. My life was a little crazy and I did not have time for this guy. Annye saw things differently and set to work immediately on setting us up. I couldn't wait to get out of class and away from the Swayze imposter and Annye's matchmaking ways. I rushed to my next class and took the last empty table in Anatomy. Just as I was getting situated at my nice big table all alone, in walks Ryan. This time, I have to admit, it was my fault, I asked him to sit with me in order to make my friends jealous. They were sitting at the table in front of me and had left me out. He sat next to me and we started to talk. I decided to give him a chance. I told him another joke. "You're kind of scary," he said. Ugh.

A few weeks later my phone rings, the caller id said "McGee". I answered. He invited me to a birthday party. I brought a friend. He flirted with her the whole time. When I left that party I literally hated him. He called me later that night and asked me to be his girlfriend. I said no and he continued to ask over and over and over until I finally said yes. I planned on giving it a month then breaking up with him.

Then this happened:

He makes me angrier than anyone else ever has. When he snores, I want to suffocate him. I do not understand how he can make everything he eats crunch so loudly that I want to rip my ears off. He is always in the wrong place at the wrong time and can't help but get into trouble. He is a wrecking ball and he is the reason we can't have nice things. But...

He makes me laugh harder than anyone else ever has. He's met my entire family and he didn't run away screaming. He doesn't complain about the lack of meat in the meals that I make him. He's cleaned up my throw up. He lets me sleep in regularly and tolerates my grumpiness when I don't get enough sleep. He held my leg while I gave birth to our daughter and didn't let it scare him out of making a son. He is an incredible dad. He encourages me and supports me more than anyone else ever has. He came into my life when I needed him the most and he never left. He knows me better than anyone else and he's my best friend. He's like the wind through my tree.

I literally can't remember what my life was life before him. Together for 13 years, married for 5 and 2 beautiful, smart and healthy kids. Thank you and I love you even though you wear glasses.