I'm the oldest of 5 kids but there's a pretty large age gap between me and my youngest siblings. My oldest-youngest sister is 5 years younger than me and the next is nearly 12 years younger than me. This is everyone plus my dad and my husband about 5 years ago.
For the sake of this blog post, let's refer to my oldest-youngest sister as Tina. Why am I giving her a fake name? Because that's what I call her in real life even though it's not her name. She's having an identity crisis. One that I started. When Tina and I were little, I was such a perfect baby angel. She was somewhere closer to the opposite. Not saying she was bad, she was just a lot different than me. I was shy and she was not, she was very friendly. Within 2 minutes of arriving at a park she would be introducing me and our mother to her best friend. The one she just met 90 seconds ago in the sandbox and hasn't made it around to asking their name but wants to invite them over for a sleepover. Tina had no problem just walking over to the neighbor's house, knocking on the door and demanding a popsicle after seeing their children with one a week ago. It went something like this:
*knockknock*
"Who's there?" -neighbor
"It's Tina from next door. Your best buddy. Open up and give me a popsicle. I know you have them because I saw your kid with one a week ago so stop holding out on me."
Just like that. I can't tell you how many times she embarrassed me with her lack of respect for boundaries and her tiny person boldness. I'm telling you... my childhood was a nightmare.
So let's fast forward 20 years and now I have my own tiny person. A tiny person who shall remain nameless so we can respect HER privacy.
This tiny person never meets a stranger. She sees a boundary and she knocks that shit down. Who needs boundaries? What do you mean I can't give a stranger a hug and kiss? Why can't I invite them to my birthday party even though I met them 67 seconds ago? Gosh mom you never let me have any fun. I've tried. I have tried so hard to talk to her about strangers. We've read books about strangers. I have set rules about talking to strangers. For instance:
Rule #1: If you don't know their name then they're a stranger.
M's Solution: "Hi! I'm M! What's your name? Mom!!! This is my new best friend in the entire world, his name is Big Larry isn't his van with the curtains really cool? He's not a stranger since I know his name now."
Rule #2: If we've never met them before then they're a stranger.
M's Solution: "Big Larry did you come to my 1st birthday party (you know, the one she couldn't possibly remember)? You did? Mom!!! He came to my first birthday party and I know his name is Big Larry so he's not a stranger! Now can we take a ride in his van with the curtains to help him find his lost dog?"
I am telling you. This girl. What am I going to do????
Well tonight she finally did it. She finally took things up a notch and really embarrassed me. I mean this is right out of my sister Tina's childhood Knocking Down Boundaries playbook. During dinner she decides to tell me this "funny story" after I asked her what she did outside with her dad and her brother while I made dinner. She said she went over to the neighbor's house and scared the mommy neighbor.
Me: "Oh? How did you scare her?"
M: "I just went inside their garage and opened up the door and scared her while she was making dinner and she didn't know I was there."
Me (with the most horrified look on my face): "What?? M!!! Did you knock first?"
M: "No."
So my husband says he caught her running towards their garage at one point and yelled at her not to. I don't know what happened after that but somehow she snuck into their garage and opened the door into their house, walked right in and made herself at home. Until she scared the mommy neighbor into noticing her.
I sent the neighbor a text later apologizing for what happened. Her response? "It was nothing compared to the time she walked in on me while I was in the shower and then said she'd never seen me nakey before."
There's more of this coming isn't there? I just know it.
No comments:
Post a Comment